As I listened to a worship song from Shane & Shane I let the words of worship saturate my mind.

The fear of aches being bone cancer like my daddy had....lie from the devil!

......it’s not easy to praise God when heartbreak hardens your heart; it’s not easy to praise God when rent is coming up and you don’t know if it will get paid, or you will become evicted; it’s not easy when the weather reminds you of your afflictions, it’s not easy, BUT the devil is after our mind and our worship.

Sing anyway.
“I can’t sing! I’m hurting!”
Sing in your heart.
“I just want to cry!”
Let the tears flow down your face.

When OUR enemy reminds us of our sufferings, our afflictions, our disfigurements to overpower us, GOD reminds us of what He saved us from to EMPOWER us!

Today as I was in the grocery store with my children, I started experience such a pain on my ankles to where it hurt to walk, but I kept walking.

“It was just cold in there, that’s what it is.”

No, we’re reminded of our afflictions for God to get our attention, will we listen or continue to search for a “solution” for our hardships?

I was reminded today of my afflictions that could have been a result of my pain today:
brain injury, broken collar bone, crack and shattered knee, 12 broken ribs, broken pinky.....BUT He also reminded me, when all I have is tears to offer Him, that is my worship to Him (and eventually singing the words of worship)....we will all go through difficulties, but who we run to will determine the outcome we have.

Daniel 3:27 NIV - and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their head singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

Thank you for the lifted prayers, GOD BLESS!

Gratitude....shame.
Good spirits.....sorrow.
Gentle......strong.

As my day got close to an end yesterday, my spirit become emotionally saddened.

I wanted to cry, but for what?
A couple days ago I had woken up, thinking, “It’s going on two and a half months with no running water, not sure when or how I will get it fixed but I know God is using this as a teaching moment.”

My boss had called me into her office; she assured me I was not in trouble, in the end she told me her church had a program that helped with repairs in a home, and she mentioned me, and they said they would help me.
My heart leaped with joy as I saw Gods hand at work; my eyes started to fill up with tears as I walked out of her office.

I’ve cried out, “God I’m tired! I’m tired!”, but still kept praising Him for His goodness.

“Mom, when will we get the water fixed? I’m tired of carrying luggage back and forth, I am ready to stay home, I’m ready to cook a home cooked meal!”

“Im tired. I’m tired. I’m tired” is all I could think as I kept seeking Jesus.

God listens. God delivers.

It’s been rough to pay a water bill each month to have the account open, when water has not been available.

It’s been tough to load the empty jugs, fill up jugs with water and then carry them into the house to flush toilets and wash hands.

It’s been rough to carry luggage and laundry from one place to another; BUT GOD, is still good.

It’s easy to want to give up thanking God, when afflictions and adversities come, but keep pressing ahead, your breakthrough will come.

A special thank you for the prayers that have come through; I hope to now be able to spend more time at home when my plumbing issues are fixed, and work on those fundraisers to help market and advertise, not my book, nor my name, but the Name above all other names, Jesus!!

God loves you & I love you too!

Isaiah 43:19 NIV - See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness

Happy Mother’s Day....but what if your not a mother? What if a child has resented you & does not speak to you? What if your mom has passed away or you never had a mom to celebrate? What if a child has passed away and your reminded of the calls you would receive on special occasions such as this? Is it still a “Happy Day”?

As I woke up, giving God my worship, my gratitude for allowing me to be a mother, I didn’t feel so well. I hadn’t felt well since yesterday evening.

I got up and headed to the kitchen as my daughter slept. Seeing the counters cluttered with mail that had been laid from days of just coming home after work and laying it in one spot.

With the music coming through my headphones I tried to keep the noise at a minimum to not wake her.

I proceeded to get a pot to make her sweet tea, get the wienes and eggs out to fry them, and the toast....”it’s Mother’s Day she should be doing that for you!”

See, it’s not the “day” that’s on the calendar that we should have admiration and recognition from those who love and appreciate us; this was my honor to show my baby that I am grated for her! For the times (a lot of times lol) she cooks and cleans for me, all while going to college herself; when I come home from work, and when I sit in my office writing...she does that. Is it “Mother’s Day” then? No.

Adoration, favor, respect and reverence can be and should be shown to God firsthand, for allowing us to be a mother, father, son, daughter, grandchild, and then shown to one another.

God loves you & I love you too!

Colossians 3:12 NIV - Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
GOD BLESS!

“Sit sit. Stand stand. Stand sit. Sit stand.” The first thoughts that came to mind when I woke up.

I experienced so much discomfort and pain in my lower back yesterday where I have a bulging disc, but my kind kept me going.

“I need to clean this. I need to organize that. I need to prepare that. I need to call that. I need to wash that. I need to cook that…..I need to fill that out!

I’ve been moving, moving; working to collect money for the book fair entry cost, and preparing for my daughters bday party next weekend that I forgot I had told my consultant I would work on the questionnaire she emailed me for the 2024 Frankfurt Book Fair for them to begin their promotion and pronouncements.

What are the first thoughts that come to mind when you open your eyes in the morning?
Does it panic you or bring you peace?
Do you have regret or relief?

I knew I would not have any order or organization if I did not FIRST seek God.

How many times do we start a project or process and leave it incomplete or inconclusive? That was me yesterday. To watch for anyone that would drive up for the garage sale, I stayed near the windows.

I began to clean out the “misc. drawer”, and began to organize the seasoning jars, the nail and bolts, the pens…but then began the fathers and daughters day (her bday falls on Father’s Day this year) gift; then I began to color some papers that I had outlined for her party, BUT nothing was completed, and my home looked chaotic where I had things spread everywhere!

So will I first “clean up” my mess from yesterday? Or will I SIT and give my attention to the One who gives us conciliation and concord, management and methodology?

Will you try to “clean up” yesterday’s disappointments and distractions, or allow God to delight you and direct you?

God loves you so much! And I love you too.

Matthew 6:33 NIV - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
GOD BLESS!

“Beloved”

1 John 4:1 NKJV - Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but tests the spirits, whether they are of God: because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

“Beloved”, you mean I’m still loved if I didn’t make it to church? You mean I am not just loved, but dearly loved when I feel this guilt and regret inside?

This morning, was a different morning. I didn’t set my alarm, and yet God still woke me up at 8:47.

I had anticipated of sleeping in from church this morning after me and my son had stayed up till 3 am making (or more like me practicing the method of tamale making) tamales, and yet I found myself having church all morning in my backyard.

BUT then came the guilt when my daughter opened the back door and said, “mom I want to go to church.”

“Don’t look at the clock.” I could hear in my head, and yet I found myself looking at the time…10:36. I would have to “rush” to get ready by 11!

But I knew He wanted to have that encounter with me right where I was, but I didn’t want to disappoint my daughter, or was it really about disappointing the church?

My heart was happy that she wanted to go, and yet heartbroken that I wouldn’t be next to her at church.

“Don’t cry. Don’t be sad. You won’t always be by her side but I will always be there with her.”
I could hear God gently tell me as I let the tears fall down my face.

I knew I couldn’t leave the backyard; so I messaged her that I wouldn’t make it to church with her, and nevertheless, she called me to tell me she was leaving to church.

I love my children, I love my church family, I love my friends and family, but I also love Jesus, and when He says, “Sit still” I know He has a word that I need to wait for.

So heed and hear out the voice that tells you, “Sit still.”

God loves you & I love you too!

Isaiah 40:8 NIV - The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever. ”
GOD BLESS!

Psalm 142:2 NKJV - I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare before Him my trouble.

“I declare before Him my trouble.”, but what happens when “him” is no longer there for you?

For me, “him” was my daddy. A man of God I could call or he would call me every morning and every night to pray for me and my kids.

(Tears are running down my face as I type). My heart did not just become heavy as I wrote; my heart became heavy, missing my daddy when I was at work, but I still worked through it.

Why does it become easy for us to disregard the feelings we have at earlier moments, than to sit at a later time and cry out what was burdensome on our hearts?

I couldn’t just pretend that my day was great, my day started out great, then after lunch it became heavy mourning the presence of my parents; especially my daddy who never got tired of speaking life (God’s word) into my life.

Don’t neglect to listen to the emotions that bring you tears; they’re there to cleanse you, to develop that intimate relationship with our Father in Heaven, who is a Father to the fatherless.

God loves you so much & so do I.
Vulnerability equals healing.

Psalm 119:50 NIV - My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.
GOD BLESS.

I have two water heaters, one controls just one shower and sink, and the other one controls the washer, the kitchen sink, and the other shower and bathroom sink, guess which one does not work?

Yep, the one that controls the temperature in my kitchen, tub, and washer! So each time I need to wash dishes I have to boil water; one pot for one side of the sink and another pot for the other side of the sink to rinse dishes.

And a comment my daughter made to me last night, “mom I’m ready for my shower to be fixed”, but I told her, “baby, would it matter since we don’t have a water heater for you to shower with warm water?”

See, for over a year my water heater went out, but I was not going to be ungrateful; I still had the one water heater that allowed me to take warm showers in the other shower. Yeah I have to boil pots of water for dishes, BUT I have running water.

When you go three months with no running water because there is a leak under your home that you can’t find to control, it makes you a little or a lot more humble.

I had paid for a wall to be built in my daughters tub because the faucet to the tub had broken and water kept spilling onto the floor making the wood now warped and the flooring soft, and that was over a year ago, but I didn’t have the money for tile for the floor and wall, nor the money to hire a contractor to install the tile for the wall that was built. There’s moments I pray that the weight of the tub won’t make it cave in someday!

With an unfinished restroom repairs and no working water heater on one side of the house I use, and no money to fix it.....I thought, “Why am I trying to raise money for a bookfair than a new water heater and repairs in my restroom?!” Why?

BECAUSE it’s not about material things, but about Jesus and what He wants to share through me to help others! I desire that others will have that encounter with Jesus the way I do daily.....so many are missing out on the moment you feel like it’s just you and Jesus.....

Wow! As I read (I made it farther than verse two without breaking down and crying; yes I cried in verse two!) a couple more scriptures and wrote what God was giving me, this made me stop....now what I write and share is directed to me, to pull out some things I’ve held back, but I told God, “Let’s Do This!”....here it is....one statement that made me go “Wow!”...that was a stopping moment for me.....

“When will you realize you put your life on hold trying to convince someone of a truth they see as a theory?”

Psalm 62:5 NIV - Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him.
GOD BLESS.